I was recently scrolling through Facebook when I came across a joke about a daycare worker asking a parent to give her half her paycheck in return for a new virus every week.
I couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time.
It felt so true because my son had been sick for the first three months of starting daycare, and I had found myself doubting my decision every single day for those 3 months!
Was 6 months the worst age to start daycare?
It seemed so.
He was teething, so everything went straight in the mouth! Perhaps I should have waited longer to rejoin work. Was this daycare actually as good as they said?
It was when he came home with another fever that I broke down and confided my failure at parenting to another working mom.
I told her how I felt was a terrible mother and that I had chosen the worst age to start daycare. She told me she wished she’d started daycare at 6 months because her 12-month-old would cry every day at drop-offs.
What Does Research Say About the Worst Age to Start Daycare?
I’m a journalist, and part of my job is to find and report facts. It’s how my brain is hardwired, so naturally, when I try to understand something, I do my research and I ask questions. This is why, to find out the best age to start daycare, I spoke to parents and looked at data to see if there 6 months was the worst age to start daycare.
One study conducted in Norway showed that children who started daycare at a younger age had more trouble adjusting than those who joined when they were older.
Another study found that children at daycare had higher levels of cortisol as compared to children who stayed at home.
And while most of these studies showed that good child care had a positive impact on a child’s social and cognitive skills, they have yet to find the right age to start daycare.
So I turned to parents like me.
After all, there were a lot of variables involved. I know that every child is different, and even daycare workers and environments vary.
For children with siblings, it is easier to start daycare if an older one is already going to a preschool or daycare. That’s because the child has been introduced to the concept and has seen a parent pick up and drop off their brother or sister. But for a firstborn, being dropped at daycare may seem like abandonment.
So I spoke to parents who had one child and had started daycare at different ages. Here’s what they had to say about their experience:
Jessica – Started Daycare at 8 Weeks
“I had to jump right back into work, so I always knew my daughter would be joining a daycare. I did my research and picked a credentialed daycare that was approved by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
I spoke to other moms and asked the tough questions. I knew Jess was too young, and there was so much mom guilt about missing out on her childhood, but I knew it had to be done and that she’d be safe and well taken care of.” -Jessica’s mom.
Pros for Starting Daycare at 8 Weeks
- There was no attachment, so the adjustment was easy. The daycare stressed hygiene for infants, so Jess didn’t catch any colds or viruses.
- Great routine and care and she was fed and burped on time.
Cons for Starting Daycare at 8 Weeks
- There is a lot of anxiety for parents, as well as mom guilt. One time she had a slight rash on her arm and I didn’t know what had caused it.
- If she doesn’t get attached to a caretaker or develop a relationship of trust, then she ends up with a negative experience.
- I had to regularly express milk and drop it off with her at daycare.
- Whenever her caretaker left or took a day off, Jessica has a hard time adjusting to the new one.
Kaleb – Began Daycare at the Age of 7 Months
“I was a middle school teacher, so I decided to return to work when Kaleb was 6 months old. He was 7 months old by the time we found the best one that I liked. But Kaleb had begun to recognize me, and the minute we got off at the daycare, he would start screaming and crying. There were days I dropped him off and sat in the car, crying and feeling simply terrible.
Luckily, Kaleb’s caretaker was wonderful. She developed a great bond with him, and after two weeks, Kaleb was a happy baby who wouldn’t cry at drop-offs anymore.” -Kaleb’s Mom.
Pros for Starting Daycare at 7 Months
- Good age for social bonding as well as language development.
- Provides a safe environment for the child.
- Stimulating environment with age-appropriate care along with play materials.
Cons for Starting Daycare at 7 Months
- Separation anxiety occurs because babies can recognize both familiar and unfamiliar faces.
- Babies are more likely to catch viruses and colds from other children.
- A sick child has to skip daycare, so you have to skip work.
- This young age group is usually more expensive due to the low ratio of children per caretaker
Robert – Started Daycare at 15 Months
“I had decided to stay home to raise a family, but then I got a great opportunity, so Robert, who was 15 months old at the time, began daycare. It was a lovely, cozy setting near my workplace and since he was old enough to understand, I explained things to him slowly. ‘Look there’s mommy’s office, and this is Robby’s play place.’
There were a lot of toys, and the daycare was flexible, so we started with half-hour sessions so he could get used to the environment. Once he felt safe, he looked forward to playing with the other kids and the toys at the daycare.” – Robert’s mom.
Pros for Starting Daycare at 15 Months
- Easy to understand that mommy will be there at pick-up time.
- The child can communicate his needs.
- Better immunity.
- Routine and structure help the child.
Cons for Starting Daycare at 15 Months
- Less individual attention as group sized increase with age.
- A child’s needs may not be met.
- If your child does not settle well, it (and you) could have high levels of cortisol due to stress and anxiety.
Zara -Joined a Daycare at the Age of 3 Years
“I decided to go back to school when Zara turned 3. I briefly considered hiring a nanny, but then I decided daycare was better. I wanted Zara to socialize with kids her age and felt she’d be safer at a certified daycare.
I was right. Zara thrived at the daycare. She made friends and enjoyed the different activities. There were days when she just wanted to stay home because another child had hit her or she didn’t like nap times. So, yes there were a few challenges and issues, which took some back and forth.” -Zara’s mom.
Pros for Starting Daycare at 3 Years
- It’s a great age to start daycare because the child wants to interact with other kids.
- The child can express his or her needs.
- Daycare can teach children to be more independent and confident.
Cons for Starting Daycare at 3 Years
- Prone to catching colds, infections and other contagious illnesses.
- Problems with other kids, including your own child biting in daycare.
So, is there a Worst Age To Start Daycare?
Yes and no. While older children can have a more difficult time adjusting, the best age to start daycare is after 12 months. Not only is their immune system stronger, but your child can communicate and understand what is happening, which makes it easier to cope with change.
But remember each child is unique, while some children may be outgoing and enjoy the presence of other kids, others might prefer the comfort of their home. Daycare and caretakers also vary so always trust your instinct and do what you think is best for your child.